Sentimental Award Lover Pillows

"Today our teacher gave everyone lifetime achievement awards."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Guess what? I won again.'

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Soccer coach of the year.

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

Norman E-Mailer

Oscars

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

HornyWood

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

'Boss, about your newfound determination to focus on employee recognition...'

"When I get older, I want to be just like you, Dad."

'In a surprise move today, the members of the Nobel Committee awarded all of this year's Nobel Prizes to each other.'

Base chapel.