Sentimental Award Lover Pillows

"Today our teacher gave everyone lifetime achievement awards."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Soccer coach of the year.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

Norman E-Mailer

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

Oscars

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"When I get older, I want to be just like you, Dad."

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

HornyWood

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

Most Loyal Employee Award