Awards Season Lover Pillows

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Snow flake

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'Guess what? I won again.'

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Soccer coach of the year.

May I have the envelope, please?

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Oscars

Norman E-Mailer

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"We need to talk."

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

It's officially spring

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."