Awards Ceremony Watcher Pillows

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Win - win

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

Jungle Games

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Oscars 2024

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

Djargo.

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"You said it—everybody heard you."

Oscars

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"This should be interesting. . . they're giving an acting award for best political lie. . ."

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

"I want to thank all the little people."

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

Base chapel.

"This goes to our Most Aggressive Defender and, ironicall, first person ever to foul out of an awards banquet..."

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"But most of all I'd like to thank the zeitgeist."

"And now, honorary awards for the worst best-picture and the best worst-picture."