Award Ceremony Attendee Pillows

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Win - win

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

Jungle Games

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

Oscars 2024

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"You said it—everybody heard you."

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

"I want to thank all the little people."

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

Base chapel.

"This goes to our Most Aggressive Defender and, ironicall, first person ever to foul out of an awards banquet..."

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"But most of all I'd like to thank the zeitgeist."

"He had a few drinks while planning where to meet for a drink before the pre-award drinks"

I don't care if you have a ticket - hop it.