Separation Survivor Gifts

'Good new! My ex-husband has surfaced.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"...until death do you a favor."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

"Can't you just say 'bippity boppity boo' and make all these messy divorce negotiations turn into pumpkins or something?"

'These anti-depressants aren't for swallowing, sir, they're for throwing at your ex-wife.'

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

Martin Gray.

"Recently separated."

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

"Susan!...are you trying to tell me we have an interface problem?"

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

Life in Lockdown: Working from Home (The Video Zoom Call)

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

"Of course we'll still be friends...."

'I don't think that it's going to work out between us.'