Separation Survivor Pillows

'Good new! My ex-husband has surfaced.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"...until death do you a favor."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

"Can't you just say 'bippity boppity boo' and make all these messy divorce negotiations turn into pumpkins or something?"

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

'These anti-depressants aren't for swallowing, sir, they're for throwing at your ex-wife.'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"Recently separated."

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

Martin Gray.

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

"Susan!...are you trying to tell me we have an interface problem?"

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

Life in Lockdown: Working from Home (The Video Zoom Call)

"Of course we'll still be friends...."

'Frankly, my dear, you can keep the dam.'