Sense Of Absurdity Gifts

'. . . Then whatever's the point of it?'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Barcode Dreams

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Crab with a clown face.

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Now you can send it."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"Nihilistic customer service"

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Salvador Dali's cats.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

Baseball.

Operation.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

UFO and snowman

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'Now just learn to whistle and I'll be rich!'

Trapeze artists commuting

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