Observer Of Absurdity Gifts

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Barcode Dreams

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Optimist

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Now you can send it."

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

"Leonard! Throw me the car keys!"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

"From this you make a living?"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'