Observer Of Absurdity Gifts

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Barcode Dreams

Optimist

"Now you can send it."

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Zoo: No Hunting.

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

Robber on treadmill

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Leonard! Throw me the car keys!"

"From this you make a living?"

Presidential surveillance ass!"