
"I may be getting older, but my mind is still as sharp as a...umm...one of those little pointy things!"
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"I may be getting older, but my mind is still as sharp as a...umm...one of those little pointy things!"
Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.
'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'
Wordplay: In The Bag.
"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"
"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."
Generic Store: Sign in Window
'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'
The Thinker. The Listener
"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."
"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"
Adam and Eve, as old people.
"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."
'Time and tide wait for no woman..'
"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."
Stephen Fry.
James Bond: Senior Years.
A senior moment.
Counsel's Opinion.
Oscar Wilde
David Blaine, Age 60
"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."
"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."
"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."
"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."
"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"
Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!
'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'
Witty T-Shirt Guy
Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."
'Did someone say something?'
'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'
Old man has a walking stick case.
"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."
"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."
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