Senior Wit Enthusiast Pillows

"I may be getting older, but my mind is still as sharp as a...umm...one of those little pointy things!"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

Stephen Fry.

A senior moment.

Counsel's Opinion.

David Blaine, Age 60

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

Witty T-Shirt Guy

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

Old man has a walking stick case.