Senior Tech Whiz Gifts

Grandad Prodigy

"Google car."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Evolution.

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

Technologies and distance classes

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

Otto the SmartyCar!

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"