Senior Living Comedian Pillows

Old Man Boot Camp: 'Hoist those trousers up higher! Unzip that fly and get some soup stains on that cardigan...'

"Why bother?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Turtle Trailer Court

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Toothless Meal

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

A senior moment.

James Bond: Senior Years.

David Blaine, Age 60

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

'Did someone say something?'

Old man has a walking stick case.