Senior_issues_ally Gifts

"Can't afford our drug, eh? Too bad. Say - nice looking watch."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Handle With Care

"Did you remember my mints?"

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Pensioner's Romance

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Computer Jobs

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

At the Old Bikers' Home

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

"Welcome to your new home, Dad."

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.