Seniors' Issues Gifts

C'mon, move!

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Pre-Old Blues

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Pensioner's Romance

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

Angry pensioner

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

At the Old Bikers' Home

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young." - Theodore Roosevelt

"Come on, come on, I can't hold it in much longer."

Three legged crutch for a three legged man

These retirement do's aren't as wild as I remember!

"This really is your last chance Mr Perkins."

'I don't know what's the matter - I just don't seem to have my old zip.'

"This says the gang problem has been overestimated."

Pension Calculation

'I'm bored. Want to see whose medications have more side effects?'

"We would have helped you up sooner but we thought you were one of those fancy sideways racing bikes."

'I saw a Rascal Scooter crash into a Hoveround. It all happened so slow.'