Sending Off To Mission Pillows

"Pack me a lunch Mom, I'm off to the mission field."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

"For five starts it's worth the trip."

"How long has he been missing?"

"Did you pack your own bags?"

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

"Oh that's a missionary school."

There were times when Ralph wished god didn't move in such mysterious ways.

"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"Your covers been blown 007....you'll have to be called 008 from now on."

Good Samaritan responding to hurt man: 'I'm part of God's TLC plan.'

Fred noticed the mission trip list was different from when he was a youth.

'At least we're doing our part to bring an end to world hunger.'

'I'll be in Florida for the winter, but I've sublet my cave to a pair of nice Mormon missionaries.'

'Stop nagging - I'm fishing as fast as I can.'

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

"I'm off to save the whales."

"Seems another philanthropist has beaten us here."

"This place is okay, but it's nothing to text home about."

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

'This tape will self destruct in 5 seconds. If it doesn't, please stomp on it a few times.'

'But enough about me...What brings you folks to Polynesia?'

Secret Service, sign saying: 'You could be here.'

Life hasn't been the same since Mum took up taekwondo!

Dr Livingstone

church