Joining Mission Trip Pillows

Fred noticed the mission trip list was different from when he was a youth.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

'I'm not sure my heart could take the excitement.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

"How long has he been missing?"

"What are we doing wrong?"

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

"As you've arrived from outside Mars airspace, you'll need to quarantine for ten days..."

"Your covers been blown 007....you'll have to be called 008 from now on."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"

The whole ambience of the research trip was ruined by Harold's squeaky boots!

There were times when Ralph wished god didn't move in such mysterious ways.

"Oh that's a missionary school."

Good Samaritan responding to hurt man: 'I'm part of God's TLC plan.'

'At least we're doing our part to bring an end to world hunger.'

'I'll be in Florida for the winter, but I've sublet my cave to a pair of nice Mormon missionaries.'

'This tape will self destruct in 5 seconds. If it doesn't, please stomp on it a few times.'

"Seems another philanthropist has beaten us here."

"I'm off to save the whales."

'But enough about me...What brings you folks to Polynesia?'

church

Dr Livingstone

'Pastor, tell us more about hell. Is it warm there?'