Self-worth Humorist Gifts

'It says it's the inner value that count. Unfortunately for you it's true.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

Money Bar.

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

But under a different accounting convention ...

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

The Euro - R.I.P.

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

White Collar Crime.

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'Would you please wipe away this difference?'

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.

Falling graphs.

"He downgraded Apple."