Self-worth Chuckles Gifts

'The reason I'm paid fifty times more is because I think I'm worth it.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Frankly, I don't see a problem. By its very nature inherited wealth entitles you to be second-rate.'

"I'm a HUNK of burning love!"

"I've finally learned not to measure my worth by how many employees I have."

In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.

'You will meet a tall, dark and handsome man. He will play forward on the pro-basketball team you've just bought!'

"It makes me feel better about myself."

Bob Found A Different Yardstick For Success And he Felt Swell

"Why do I let everybody walk all over me?'

"Sure, we're all just tiny specks in a vast and uncaring universe. But some of us are bigger tiny specks than others."

'Before I give you the bill,do you suffer from heart trouble, high blood pressure,or sudden shock syndrome?'

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

"Will this be cash or consumer debt?"

'Honey, does the wild pig that I swallowed whole for lunch make me look fat? No, dear, it's just the lighting.

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

Light Mayo

'I think my parents are feeling the pinch of college tuition. They're talking about return on investment.'

'Me, I weigh myself in the water: I get a better reading...'

'Now now -- the fact that no one has stolen your identity doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it.'

"Methinks this breastplate doth make me look fat."

'I can feel a hundred eyes drilling into my bald spot.'

"I did warn you about the after effects."

Any more rude letters from you and yours won't even go into the shuffle.

'It says it's the inner value that count. Unfortunately for you it's true.'

R. B. Dudley: Nobody special but rich enough to build this monument of himself.

"The worst part is the horizontal stripes."

"Well, you wouldn't tell me how much you earned, so I didn't tell you how much I spent!"

'My life is worth more than that!'