Self-storage Owner Gifts

"So, uh, how much is it to store a self?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Cut Price

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

6 Brothers Falafel

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'