Rental Business Owner Gifts

"When we're not hibernating, I've gone ahead and listed our cave as an Airbnb."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

6 Brothers Falafel

Fast food. Even faster food

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop