Self-reflective Humor Pillows

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"The overthinker"

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Cellphone Islands

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

That party went well.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"Is this who I am?"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

An x-ray reveals a man imprisoned in the mind of another man.

"Cheer up, grod, these are the good old days."

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

"Wonder if there's something wrong with you? Reality is for us all it's true..."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."