Self-reflective Humor Pillows

What's wrong, little buddy? Some stupid kid called me "old." I'm young! I've been young all my life! I'm good at it. I know all about being young. I've been young since way before he was even born. He's just jealous that I'm more experienced at it than he is. Might be time for us to have a little talk.

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

That party went well.

"The overthinker"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Cellphone Islands

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Trying to impress us on your first day is understandable, but the moon has already been discovered."

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"Is this who I am?"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

Business man sees himself as a shark

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"Wonder if there's something wrong with you? Reality is for us all it's true..."

"Cheer up, grod, these are the good old days."

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

An x-ray reveals a man imprisoned in the mind of another man.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."