Self-reflection Humorist Pillows

Still fits like a glove after all these years!

'Enjoying a little 'me time', Narcissus?'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

Woman's T-Shirt says 'Baby', Man's says '35 Lbs. Ugly Fat'.

Next, I remember looking down and thinking, man, those pants make my butt look huge.

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

"I'm a HUNK of burning love!"

"I've switched from talking to myself to talking at myself."

New years resolutions

'I'm texting my inner child.'

Narcissus

"I seem to bring out the worst in people."

'Be honest. Do I have ugly feet?'

'Are you the same guy who's in the bathroom mirror?'

Me at 22 vs. me at 29

"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"

"Somehow, I still feel insignificant."

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

'I'm curious about your out-of-body experience. As you floated above your hospital bed, how noticeable was my bald spot?'

'Lets talk about this rampant egotism of yours.'

'I can feel a hundred eyes drilling into my bald spot.'

'I was so unpopular as a child, even my imaginary friend wouldn't play with me.'

Narcissus looks at his reflection in a pool of water; he is wearing a shirt that reads "Narcissus" written backwards so that he can read it properly in his reflection

"If I were a narcissist, I assure you I would be the first to know!"

'It says it's the inner value that count. Unfortunately for you it's true.'

"I need to look younger because I'm incredibly immature for my age."

"Damn straight we're the only forms of intelligent life in the universe!"

R. B. Dudley: Nobody special but rich enough to build this monument of himself.

"Oh, just picking up the pieces of my life after a really traumatic haircut."

"What star sign am I?... Well, that depends. My body is Leo, my brain is Taurus, but in my heart I'm a Virgo."