Self-reflection Connoisseur Gifts

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

That party went well.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

Man frozen in portrait pose.

S**t Threw a Goose

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

Moliere

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

C Day Lewis.

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

Caterpillar Paranoia

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”