Self-reflection Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

That party went well.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

S**t Threw a Goose

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Moliere

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Bleak House

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

Charles Dickens.

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

Caterpillar Paranoia

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

'I never forget a face.'