Self-reflection Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm not doing much. I'm just ego surfing. I'm looking up my name on several search engines.'

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

Oh, I don't have a wife and kids. These are mirrors.

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

'Such feelings of inadequacy are not unusual in a person of your insignificant.'

'No no, I'm fine. Just indulging in a little bit of mid-afternoon navel gazing.'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"I can talk about myself for hours on end. If you want to go for more, that's fine..."

"Stop bleating, it's all ewe,ewe,ewe!"

"Oh, no - not you first thing in the morning!"

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

That party went well.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

Caterpillar Paranoia