Self-praise Aficionado T-Shirts

"With this film, I finally enter the front ranks of American moviegoers."

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

The Sculptor

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

A giraffe in a hat

"I think it really captures my humility and selflessness."

Narcissus

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

I heart my bum.

"I want to change my name...to someone who was ahead of her time...a legendary artist who still influences culture today! Her last name was Kahlo, but you can call me...Frida!"

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"I can't remember if I took my smart pill."

life route

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

'Does what's left of my bum look big in that?'

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

"Baldo, even though you've done something funny to your hair...it does not change my feeling for you. You're still my handsome nephew...and I still love you as much as before. Even if you've gone crazy in the head."

Honk if you *heart* yourself.

"Narcissus! Pay attention!"

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

Over sixty and happy

"Ambitions... to be more ambitious in future."

'Ms. Collins, order me a dozen roses asap. And make sure I say something flattering to myself in the card.'