Self-esteem Aficionado T-Shirts

'Does what's left of my bum look big in that?'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

PROBLEM AREAS

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

Ego Increasing School

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

'Welcome to the first meeting of the Shy Men Club.'

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Doc, my problem is that I don't believe in myself!'

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

Tell me about this feeling of inadequacy

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

'I envy your metabolism.'

All dressing rooms now have dimmer switches

"Even my mother and father never believed in me."

"I wish I was special."