Self-image Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Nice haircut."

"What does she have that I don't?"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

TV-Mirror.

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"Hey, great ab!"

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

Cartoon Panel Discussion

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

"Stock photo, right?"

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"Don't make me look fat!"

"Great. Now I have to worry about my weight."

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

"I'm trying to find that perfect piece of art that will make me think I know something about art."

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

'I'll take THIS mirror.'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

"I really am very pleased with the dress I bought. It makes me feel not so dumpy and without."