Self-praise Aficionado Pillows

"With this film, I finally enter the front ranks of American moviegoers."

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

The Sculptor

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

A giraffe in a hat

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

Narcissus

"I can't remember if I took my smart pill."

life route

'Egomania, you say? How on earth did you diagnose me so quickly?'

"Narcissus! Pay attention!"

"Ambitions... to be more ambitious in future."

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

Honk if you *heart* yourself.

"Baldo, even though you've done something funny to your hair...it does not change my feeling for you. You're still my handsome nephew...and I still love you as much as before. Even if you've gone crazy in the head."

'Does what's left of my bum look big in that?'

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

Over sixty and happy

'Ms. Collins, order me a dozen roses asap. And make sure I say something flattering to myself in the card.'

Shape up