Self-appreciation Enthusiast Pillows

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

"Still working from home, I see."

That party went well.

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

Caterpillar Paranoia

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

A giraffe in a hat

Other People

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

'I never forget a face.'

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'I know how you feel.'

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

'Ecce homo!'

Narcissus

'It's my only indulgence.'

"Ask yourself 'Am I nuttier now than I was four years ago'?"

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."