Self-appreciation Enthusiast Gifts

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"Who's gorgeous face is this I see? Is it a special person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with?"

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

"Still working from home, I see."

That party went well.

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

Caterpillar Paranoia

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

A giraffe in a hat

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

Other People

'I never forget a face.'

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

'I know how you feel.'

'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'

I heart my bum.

'It's my only indulgence.'

'Ecce homo!'