Self-appreciation Gifts

'Ms. Collins, order me a dozen roses asap. And make sure I say something flattering to myself in the card.'

That party went well.

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Congratulations!

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

A giraffe in a hat

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

I heart my bum.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

Thanks for the memories!

Ms. Walsh, I'll be unavailable today...I'm spending it with my ego wall.

'There, but for the grace of God, go I.'

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

Celebrating National No Bra Day

Tunnel of Love Handles

"Sigh...Iconoclastic, but not an icon."

"What a beautiful day."

"Who's gorgeous face is this I see? Is it a special person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with?"

"What can I say? God made me this way!"

Acceptance Shampoo: Your Hair Is Just Like That.

'We provide this relaxing courtyard for employees to explore their freakouts.'

'We knew you'd be embarrassed with a Tiffany bracelet or a Mulberry handbag.'

"They're just jealous! You don't need lipstick because you're naturally beautiful!"

Actually, calling me one-dimensional isn't much of an insult

"Thanks for taking out the trash."

'Brilliant!'

Red Letter Days - Having one's portrait shown

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

Par-tay!