Self-appreciation Pillows

'Ms. Collins, order me a dozen roses asap. And make sure I say something flattering to myself in the card.'

That party went well.

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Congratulations!

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

A giraffe in a hat

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

Thanks for the memories!

'There, but for the grace of God, go I.'

Ms. Walsh, I'll be unavailable today...I'm spending it with my ego wall.

Celebrating National No Bra Day

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

Tunnel of Love Handles

"Sigh...Iconoclastic, but not an icon."

"What a beautiful day."

Par-tay!

Red Letter Days - Having one's portrait shown

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

'We provide this relaxing courtyard for employees to explore their freakouts.'

"They're just jealous! You don't need lipstick because you're naturally beautiful!"

Acceptance Shampoo: Your Hair Is Just Like That.

"What can I say? God made me this way!"