Self Appreciator Pillows

"My monument to me is coming along nicely."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

That party went well.

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"I'm going on a little mental-health walk and you're not coming with me."

'Honestly, Geraldine, you're not like any other penguin I've ever met.'

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"We really need to put some more mirrors in here."

'I'm Bored'

'I still love those classic solos from the 70s - but who has the time?'

A giraffe in a hat

'Wow! I hope I'm not hallucinating again... What vision of beauty stands before me?'

Life is just four letters...

Ms. Walsh, I'll be unavailable today...I'm spending it with my ego wall.

"Would you ask the chef to hurry? We're running out of conversation."

"Well, for starters I'd like to thank me."

'Ms. Collins, order me a dozen roses asap. And make sure I say something flattering to myself in the card.'

Footprints on Island.

The singular joy of living with a person who routinely glimpses the miraculous in the mundane.

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

There's no cure for birth and death, so you may as well enjoy the interval!

Red Letter Days - Having one's portrait shown

(Attack Dog) (It's about character stupid!)

I love myself.

A great day starts when you weigh 2lbs. less than you thought you would.

Everyday Hospice

"Still working from home, I see."

'We strive for a diverse customer service team. For every people person, we hire one misanthrope.'

Me me me