Self-reflection Enthusiasts Gifts

"I have a positive attitude...but it might be a false positive."

"I know this sounds corny, Bob, but for me, the true measure of success is when I can look at the man in the mirror each day and still find a way to blame my parents for everything wrong in my life!"

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"I just realised that I'm talking to myself."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'How's the inferiority complex, Mr. Reynolds.'

'Why do you want to be self-employed?'

'Hello, Veronica...Yes, it's me again. And once again I'm watching myself watching you...'

"I'd like to return this mirror, its reflection looks older than I feel."

"OMG! Bald at my age!"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"The overthinker"

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Cellphone Islands

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

That party went well.

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Is this who I am?"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'