Self-reflection Enthusiasts Gifts

"I have a positive attitude...but it might be a false positive."

"I know this sounds corny, Bob, but for me, the true measure of success is when I can look at the man in the mirror each day and still find a way to blame my parents for everything wrong in my life!"

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

Sometimes I make bad decisions. Beware of yourself.

Mirror, mirror on the shelf, why don't you go crack yourself?

"I just realised that I'm talking to myself."

Pretty Good Man

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'How's the inferiority complex, Mr. Reynolds.'

'Why do you want to be self-employed?'

'Hello, Veronica...Yes, it's me again. And once again I'm watching myself watching you...'

"I'd like to return this mirror, its reflection looks older than I feel."

"OMG! Bald at my age!"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

That party went well.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Cellphone Islands

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"The overthinker"

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Is this who I am?"

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"