Self-reflection Seekers Gifts

A small car is stretched in a funhouse mirror into a limousine.

"I didn't know my eyebrows looked like that."

Mirror, mirror, oval in shape, who's that pretentious beret-wearing ape?

People were given a vast universe to teach them humility and they invented astrology to make it all about them.

"But enough about me..."

'Does my face look puffy to you?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

Prisoner of insecurity

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

That party went well.

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

Cellphone Islands

"The overthinker"

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Is this who I am?"

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Pachyderm insomnia.