Self-reflection Seekers Gifts

A small car is stretched in a funhouse mirror into a limousine.

"I didn't know my eyebrows looked like that."

"But enough about me..."

'Does my face look puffy to you?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

Prisoner of insecurity

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"The overthinker"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Cellphone Islands

That party went well.

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"You need to stop bottling it up."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Is this who I am?"

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

Pachyderm insomnia.

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."