Self-reflection Scholar Gifts

"I got into the stupidest thing with my reflection this morning."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"He's his own worst enemy."

Cellphone Islands

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"The overthinker"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

That party went well.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"Is this who I am?"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Pachyderm insomnia.

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"