Self-referential Humor Fan Pillows

"From one to ten, ten being the worst, describe how poorly drawn and antiquated this pain chart is."

'I don't have to laugh... this show laughs at itself!'

Dog reading a comic about himself.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Trump Poutine

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Amateurs."

A Golden Non-Retriever

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'More government surveillance!'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Can't even hold signs well.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."