Self-promotion Specialist Gifts

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'Underestimate him at your own risk. When he first came here, everybody laughed and said he didn't have a snowball's chance. Now he's our regional supervisor. Go figure!'

Creativity 2.0

Blog Breakdown

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

"We couldn't give you a bigger office, so we shrunk everything down to make it appear bigger."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

"To be honest, nobody wants to buy your paintings... we need a promotional strategy! Cut off your ear in public!"

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

The Social Media Expert

This could be your blurb.

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

'If you keep convincing people at work that you are irreplaceable, how can you ever be promoted?'

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

Sigh - '' - 'Waaaaah!' - '' - 'Hey! I'm not that fat!!!' - '' -

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

'Thanks to the 'Mail-in Box Top Sweepstakes', enrollment is up.'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'