Self-promotion Specialists Gifts

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

Blog Breakdown

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

"We couldn't give you a bigger office, so we shrunk everything down to make it appear bigger."

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

This could be your blurb.

The Social Media Expert

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

'If you keep convincing people at work that you are irreplaceable, how can you ever be promoted?'

'You're unquestionably the most handsome, intelligent, virile, chick-magnet to ever grace these parts.'

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

Dust jackets for people.

"After I expounded on my greatness all morning, it's funny he never complimented me on my humility."