Self-promo Specialist Gifts

"Contestants, you have thirty seconds, two hundred and eighty characters, and an unfamiliar topic—can you find a way to make it all about you?"

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Creativity 2.0

Blog Breakdown

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"We couldn't give you a bigger office, so we shrunk everything down to make it appear bigger."

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"To be honest, nobody wants to buy your paintings... we need a promotional strategy! Cut off your ear in public!"

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

The Social Media Expert

This could be your blurb.

'I'll still advertise the car in the newspaper,if it is alright with you Mildred.'

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

'If you keep convincing people at work that you are irreplaceable, how can you ever be promoted?'

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

'Thanks to the 'Mail-in Box Top Sweepstakes', enrollment is up.'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself