Self-promo Specialist T-Shirts

"Contestants, you have thirty seconds, two hundred and eighty characters, and an unfamiliar topic—can you find a way to make it all about you?"

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Blog Breakdown

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

"We couldn't give you a bigger office, so we shrunk everything down to make it appear bigger."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"To be honest, nobody wants to buy your paintings... we need a promotional strategy! Cut off your ear in public!"

This could be your blurb.

The Social Media Expert

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

'I'll still advertise the car in the newspaper,if it is alright with you Mildred.'

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

'If you keep convincing people at work that you are irreplaceable, how can you ever be promoted?'

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

'Thanks to the 'Mail-in Box Top Sweepstakes', enrollment is up.'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'