Self-promo Pro T-Shirts

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Blog Breakdown

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

The Social Media Expert

Business Cards.

This could be your blurb.

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

'...and that concludes the emergency procedures. Since we have a few minutes before take-off, how many of you are familiar with 'Amway'?'

New year resolutions.

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

"Résumé? Dude, Google me!"

"O.K., well, think about it, but remember, I find my own food, I'm quiet, and you don't have to take me for walks."

Dust jackets for people.

"His fan mail keeps ten secretaries busy. Writing it!"

"After I expounded on my greatness all morning, it's funny he never complimented me on my humility."

"Remember, the best things in life are free ? for the first three months."