Self-promotion Pro Gifts

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Blog Breakdown

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

The Social Media Expert

This could be your blurb.

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

New year resolutions.

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

"O.K., well, think about it, but remember, I find my own food, I'm quiet, and you don't have to take me for walks."

Dust jackets for people.

"Résumé? Dude, Google me!"

"After I expounded on my greatness all morning, it's funny he never complimented me on my humility."

"His fan mail keeps ten secretaries busy. Writing it!"

"Contestants, you have thirty seconds, two hundred and eighty characters, and an unfamiliar topic—can you find a way to make it all about you?"