Self-promotion Guru Gifts

"Résumé? Dude, Google me!"

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"The goal is to hate yourself."

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

"You left your demons here last week."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

Let go of the restrictions in your own head.

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."

Creativity 2.0

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

Blog Breakdown

"I just think things will work out for the best, and by the best I mean me."

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

Declutter Your Life

'More isn't doing the trick lately. What comes AFTER more?'

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

A man with butterfly wings flies off away from his previous shell of a body.

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

Planned service changes

'I think they're still just sizing each other up.'

'When did you first notice the bald spot?'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'