Self-improvement Guru Gifts

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

Caterpillar to butterfly: 'I didn't recognize you after your extreme makeover.'

'I need you to identify the problem. Here's your mirror.'

"Gordon's got very low self-esteem. Haven't you? You bald headed four eyed twit."

Declutter Your Life

Self Driving Car - Self Conscious Car - Self Actualized Car

My Life

'More isn't doing the trick lately. What comes AFTER more?'

Let go of the restrictions in your own head.

'An estate agent seeks therapy'

'Quicky Language Course.'

New Year Diet

Weight Loss Clinic: 'We help those who help themselves over and over and over again.'

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

"OK...I've worked all week on my self-confidence. So asking Smiley to the movies should be easy! C'mon Baldo, you can do it! Just concentrate...and it'll happen!"

Where the *@!!* are the self help books?

'Hi, I'm Eddie... and I always wanted fries with that.'

'But I have to evolve. Scales make me look fat.'

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'

"I never realised how photogenic we were."

"I'm glad you're trying to quit smoking Dr. Jekyll, but the withdrawal symptoms turn you into a completely different person!"

Pep Talks!

"Perhaps you're not letting yourself evolve as a person."

"Maybe I’m just catastrophizing."

"You know, this exercise program is making me feel younger already."

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

"I can't work on the McDowell file. I have motivational tapes to finish!"

"The goal is to hate yourself."

You/Strength/Weakness/Your Competition.

"After all these years, you still feel guilt? You should be ashamed of yourself."

"You left your demons here last week."

Today is the first day of everybody else's life too, so watch your step!

'When did you first notice the bald spot?'