Self-promotion Specialist Pillows

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'Underestimate him at your own risk. When he first came here, everybody laughed and said he didn't have a snowball's chance. Now he's our regional supervisor. Go figure!'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Blog Breakdown

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"We couldn't give you a bigger office, so we shrunk everything down to make it appear bigger."

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"To be honest, nobody wants to buy your paintings... we need a promotional strategy! Cut off your ear in public!"

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

The Social Media Expert

This could be your blurb.

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

'If you keep convincing people at work that you are irreplaceable, how can you ever be promoted?'

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

Sigh - '' - 'Waaaaah!' - '' - 'Hey! I'm not that fat!!!' - '' -

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

'Thanks to the 'Mail-in Box Top Sweepstakes', enrollment is up.'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

"O.K., well, think about it, but remember, I find my own food, I'm quiet, and you don't have to take me for walks."

Dust jackets for people.