Self-promo Enthusiast Pillows

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

'How fast can you hype?'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

Blog Breakdown

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

'I've been made junior partner.'

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

"Big promotion for you Khanna - from Data Scientist to Big Data Scientist."

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

Feed me

The reason why moments like this are utterly wasted on advertising people...

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

The Social Media Expert

4 x 4s - buy one, get one free.

This could be your blurb.

'I appreciate the new title, Mr Boyle, but what I could really use is a raise.'

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

'Actually I worked my way up from 'ideas'.'

"The GOOD news is that your promotion puts you in charge of the team, the BAD news is you ARE the team."

"Congratulations! I hear that you're being promoted to a cubicle near the door."