Self-promotion Skeptic Pillows

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Blog Breakdown

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Recycling Depot - Magazines, Newspapers, Free CDs, books, 8 page pull-outs and other promotions

'Okay, whatever you do, don't follow THOSE dreams.'

Cash Rebate

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

New From Why? Books

"The Seven Warning Signs of Seven Warning Signs"

"The improvement is the higher price."

The Sponsored Skier

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"It's flu season, so you'll probably get sick. To repeat: You... will... get... sick. And when you do, there's Helpaflu."

"Thanks to Trump, no one cares if we lie now in our advertisements or press releases."

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

The Social Media Expert

This could be your blurb.