Self-promoters Pillows

"On this very sad occasion - and on all occasions - I’d like to remind everyone that I graduated from Harvard."

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Blog Breakdown

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

The Social Media Expert

'We really need to start hiring self-starters.'

This could be your blurb.

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

"Résumé? Dude, Google me!"

"O.K., well, think about it, but remember, I find my own food, I'm quiet, and you don't have to take me for walks."

Dust jackets for people.

"His fan mail keeps ten secretaries busy. Writing it!"

"After I expounded on my greatness all morning, it's funny he never complimented me on my humility."

"Contestants, you have thirty seconds, two hundred and eighty characters, and an unfamiliar topic—can you find a way to make it all about you?"