Self-promoters Pillows

"On this very sad occasion - and on all occasions - I’d like to remind everyone that I graduated from Harvard."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Creativity 2.0

Blog Breakdown

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

'We really need to start hiring self-starters.'

This could be your blurb.

The Social Media Expert

School of Music: Blowing Your Own Trumpet.

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

"Résumé? Dude, Google me!"

"After I expounded on my greatness all morning, it's funny he never complimented me on my humility."

"O.K., well, think about it, but remember, I find my own food, I'm quiet, and you don't have to take me for walks."

Dust jackets for people.

"His fan mail keeps ten secretaries busy. Writing it!"